The Generous Wife

Saturday June 30, 2007


Play Esther for a day. Take the time to soak in the tub. Soften rough spots with lotion and spritz on his favorite scent. Pick out your prettiest outfit and fix your hair. Meet your husband at the door and make him feel like a king.

Now the king was attracted to Esther ... she won his favor and approval ... Esther 2:17

This is a copy of an email I receive daily from a site called the generous wife. Every day there is a different tip or suggestion and verse or quote to encourage you to be a genereous wife and to bless your husband with little acts of kindness, respect, and love. Most of the time I skim over the email and delete but sometimes one will make me stop and think as the one above did. Since I have become a mom I feel less than pretty on most days and I am addicted to my T-shirts and my ponytail. Even when I do fix my hair, which is not very often, it ends up in a ponytail. I have been seriously contemplating chopping it all off. It has been a long time since I really dressed up for my husband and this email reminded me of that. When we were dating and even just pre-parenthood I always tried to look my best for him. I feel that part of me awakening again as Tobey gets older. The part of me that wants to be healthy and strive to look my best. So in honor of Esther I am starting my beautification process. My first task is to get in shape and lose a few pounds. I am finally joining a gym today that has a daycare so no more excuses. I really want to stick with it so please pray for diligence and determination on my part. And I probably need to give up my coke and sweets but I am really struggling with those two. For now I have made the switch to diet coke and I will limit sweets. Secondly I plan on getting a pedicure soon. I could just do it myself but I think my feet need professional help. Third, I will strive to limit T-shirts and make the effort to wear something cute when out with my hubby. And I will start fixing my hair more often. I may even get that new "do" and some highlights. Rodney would never say anything to me about my appearance but I know he will appreciate my efforts to be a "queen" for him.

If you are interested in being a generous wife click here the generous wife

Fashion Shoot

We went on a little shopping spree today. I was mainly looking for some jean capris for myself but ended up with 6 new outfits for Tobey. I couldn't resist. Everything was so cute and almost all of it was on sale. Rodney doesn't know yet. He just does not understand my plight as a woman and a mother. Well he understands but does not appreciate. When we got home I decided to have a little fashion shoot and Tobey really got into it. Actually he loved it and eagerly changed into each new outfit. It was so much fun. He was actually posing for the camera and smiling. He could be the next baby model for Gymboree and Old Navy. After the photo shoot we had a pony ride. That is his new thing. He stands behind me and pushes my back down so he can climb on and then we trot through the living room while he giggles up above. I actually got a little sweaty during his ride today. Then it was naptime and we rocked and I read the standard three books. We just got new ones in the mail and one is called Mommy & Me. It is about a little boy imagining himself and his Mommy as monkeys and all the fun things they do. So sweet. I choked up at the end. What a lovely day......and I did find some jean capris.














The hats were only 99 CENTS at Gymboree. The first two outfits were 60% off and those last two polos-$2.99 at Old Navy. The jean shorts were not on sale but aren't they cute. They should pay me for advertising.....

Father's Day Tribute

Father's Day is a hard day for me. My Dad has been gone for almost nine years but I still miss him and think about him almost everyday. I am so thankful for the 20 years I had with him. My youngest sister was only six when my dad passed away and she has only a few memories. The last time we talked about him she said it was getting hard for her to remember his face and this scares her. It breaks my heart that he has not been here to see my sisters grow into beautiful young women and to meet his three grandsons. It is so ironic to me that he had all girls and now all grandsons. I wish they could have met their Papa. I have a feeling they would have hit it off well. I struggled alot with wanting to know reasons behind my Dad's death. Without going into too much detail, his death was very sudden and tragic. Death alone his hard but when it slams into you like a freight train your left stunned, shocked, hurt, confused, and wanting answers. I so wanted to understand the big picture. There were three quotes that I wrote down and read almost everyday for awhile. The first is from Isaiah 55-The Lord says, "My thoughts are not like your thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." I love this word from God. It reminds me that He is in control and even when I don't understand, I can trust His heart. The second is from Max Lucado and it is just point blank, in your face. "The point is this: God owes no one anything. No reasons. No explanations. Nothing. If he gave them we couldn't understand them. God is God. He knows what he is doing. When you can't trace his hand, trust his heart." This really helped me when I would start feeling sorry for myself. It always redirected my focus on moving forward with God and letting go. The last is from Corrie Ten Boom. Such a godly woman, full of faith despite her circumstances. She says, "When the train goes through a tunnel and the world gets dark, do you jump out? Of course not. You sit still and trust the engineer to get you through." Grief is like a dark tunnel and I have been through it. I praise you God for being my strong tower, my refuge, and my light at the end of the tunnel.

Today I honor my Dad for the love he gave and the life he lived.





And of course I honor my husband who has proven to be a wonderful Dad. He was so scared about becoming a Dad. He just was never much of a kid person and was terrified he wouldn't know what to do. Well, from day one he has been a very hands on Daddy. From coaching me in the delivery room to changing his first poopy diaper. He was really nervous about my return to work but he handled Tobey so well. I remember my first night back at work. Rodney was nervous and I must admit I was too. When I arrived home the next morning, I walked into the bedroom and Tobey was cuddled up next to his Daddy on the bed. He had woken up wanting his Mommy and fell asleep next to Daddy. It was the sweetest thing. I was so relieved they survived their first night alone and they have survived many others since. Now our boy is almost two and he looooves his Daddy. So honey I honor you as the father of our son. Thank you for being a man of integrity and a man our son can look up to.





And I also want to honor my Father-in-Law. He is the reason my husband is a man of integrity. He has such a servant's heart and he is such a godly man. I am so proud for Tobey that he has such a great Paw Paw and such a wonderful role model. And I am thankful and proud that he is my "Dad" too. Without him, Father's day would be much more difficult.


Happy Father's Day!

Fun-filled week and a tired boy

We have had a fun and exciting week with lots of picture opportunities. On Monday, Tobey got to spend the day with his MiMi and PawPaw. He loves being at their house. When I arrived to pick him up it looked like a tornado had come through the living room. Oh, how he cried when we left. On Tuesday we went to the waterpark and had a blast. My friends from work had planned this day back in April. Another one of my friends also came along. Tobey was the only boy but that's okay. He had so much fun. It took him a while to warm up to the water though. I mean literally warm up. He spent the first 30 minutes just standing around shivering. He was actually kind of scared of the water. He would not even go down the little waterslide. I went down with him a couple of times and he just cried. I am not complaining though, I appreciate his cautiousness. He liked walking around in the shallow water and splashing us the best. I was able to snap a few pictures while we all ate lunch and then again right before we left. This first picture is right before the waterpark. Tobey in his pool gear.


This is Audrey. She was the water baby of the day. The girl was not scared at all. She would even go under and come up spurting water out of her mouth. She cracked me up.


And Raylie. She was the first baby out of my group of work friends. Her mom and I were 2.5 months apart and she was the one who I asked all my pregnancy questions to because she experienced everything right before me. Raylie also was not scared and took right to the water.


And Emma. Emma's mom is one of my oldest friends. We met our freshmen year of high school and we also went to church together. We have been to camps, mission trips, world changers, and acteens events together. We were also in each others weddings. She is a teacher during the school year and lives an hour away so I don't get to see her very often. So it was fun to hang out. Tobey and Emma hit it off. They were chatting to each other over lunch like old friends.


Before we left the waterpark, we rested and had a snack. We spent three hours at the park and he was tired. Notice how he is lounging in his chair. I knew Tobey would pass out on the way home and he did.


On Wednesday we had a visit from Charlie. Charlie is my friend Melissa's nephew and she kidnapped him for the day from her sister. Melissa is also one of my oldest friends. We used to be roomies and she was the maid of honor in my wedding. She is a teacher also and so we try to take advantage of the summer days and hang out. We were going to swim in the pool but it wasn't quite up to par. So the boys just played around on the living room floor. Tobey had his first lesson in sharing toys. He did not like it. He kept taking things out of Charlie's hands and he did not understand when I told him to share. I am sure all he was thinking is these are MY toys. There were some tears but a good lesson in sharing was begun. They played really well with the ball. Although Tobey kept throwing the ball in Charlie's face instead of rolling it gently. It didn't phase Charlie though, he never cried once. Not even when toys were yanked out of his hands. He was such a good sport.




That night I snapped some cute pictures of Tobey watching So You Think You Can Dance and playing with his cars. Every once in a while he would turn around and grab a new car off the fireplace. Then he would plop back in position on his couch so he could watch the show. It was so cute. I watched more of him than I did the show.



And today we went to VBS. I was asked to help out in Tobey's classroom and that was alot of fun although he was a little clingy. I think he would have played better if I was not around. He got really frustrated because he could not climb up the slide in the playroom like the other kids were doing. We also made 2 crafts and he got his first tattoo. As you will notice his VBS shirt is way too big. The only size they had was extra small. The shirt hangs to his knees. He looked so cute with it tucked into his blue jean shorts. Plus, it helped hold those shorts up which usually droop because of his tiny behind.




And now he is taking a nap, worn out from an event filled week.

Invasion

I don't mind bugs. I even understand there role in the master plan of God's creation. However, there is one bug I cannot tolerate. In fact I am deathly afraid of them. Waterbugs-you know the big nasty cockroachy bug that likes to hang out in the flowerbeds. I think they got the name waterbug because they seem to be drawn to the shower. They are the reason we are paying $40 a month to a pest control service. I just found a dead one by our patio door. Thank God it was dead because Rodney is out of town tonight. This is how bad my fear is. I can't even bring myself to walk past a dead one. I had to go to our garage, drag the shop vac into the house and suck that nasty creature up. Normal people would probably just get a paper towel and scoop it into the trash or flush it down the toilet. But I would rather use the no contact method. You may ask why is this woman so deathly afraid of waterbugs. Does she not know that she can crush them with the weight of her heel? Yes I know, but that is what fear is-irrational thinking. And I am very irrational when it comes to these foul bugs. And I have reason. About a year ago, pre-pest control service, I had an encounter. Well four to be exact. All within days of each other. It started in the living room. Tobey and I were having a glorious afternoon together. We were sitting in the floor, he unable to walk yet, toys scattered about. Scooter heard it first. A rustle back behind us near the couch. I turned to look and one of those darn bugs flew over our head and landed on the archway between our living room and our dining room. It was huge-at least 4 inches long. Uhmmm, I freaked out. Screaming, I picked up Tobey who immediately started crying (not because of the bug, but because of his terrifying and terrified mother) and we ran to his bedroom. Scooter is also barking at this time and running in circles around the living room. Of course, Rodney was out of town and Tobey and I were all alone with the really scary bug who flew. FLEW!... ABOVE OUR HEADS!...We sat in the nursery for several minutes and I realized I could not stay in this room all night. So I put my boy in his crib and ventured back out. I put on some shoes so I could smash that sucker and grabbed the broom. Boy was I scared. I was shaking and I had knots in my stomach. How could a bug reduce me to this state? I gathered enough courage and stepped in to the living room, prepared to knock that critter off the wall and end it all. Well, when I looked up he was gone. I frantically searched the floor. About that time Scooter came up behind me and started barking. Well I freaked out again, broom went flying and I retreated back to the nursery. I called my MIL for emotional support and she immediately came over. I told you-she has a heart of gold. She looked around and could not find anything. We ended up going out to eat because I could not just sit there in that house knowing that bug was somewhere, lurking. By the time we got done and she dropped us back at home, the fear had dissipated some. Oh I had not forgotten and was on the lookout the rest of the night. I finally found it the next morning when I pulled back the shower curtain-dead. Or so I thought. I went to grab it with some tissue paper and there was movement. I was able to drop it in the toilet and flush quickly. By this point I felt traumatized. These bugs were all I could think of. To top it off I saw two more that week. Thank goodness Rodney was home and killed both of them. I just might of fainted if he hadn't been. I even had nightmares for several weeks. It was so bad. But now we have pest control and I only see them occasionally and they are always dead. To this day, I still check the shower before entering and between the liner and the curtain. You never know...

Tender Moments

What a weird day this has been. I worked last night, got home around 7:30am, showered and left to host a bridal shower for an old friend of mine. I did not get home from that until 12:15pm. I hung out with my boys for an hour or so and then I crashed. I had been awake for over 24 hours and my body said no more-must sleep. I got up around 6:30pm and felt absolutely horrible but Rodney was itching to get out of the house so we went to IHOP. Tobey and I shared chocolate chip pancakes. Yummy! Afterwards, I figured we would just go home but Rod turned the opposite direction from our house. When I asked him where he was going, he just smiled. I knew we were either going to Home Depot or Best Buy. We ended up at Best Buy. So while the boys shopped electronics, I strolled over to Dillards for the dreaded swimsuit search. It only took an hour and eight try-ons before I found the perfect one. I am very very happy about my new swimsuit. It is bright and colorful, full coverage, no cleavage, and even a little flattering. I also found the perfect chocolate brown cover-up. I am so relieved to have that out of the way. I met back up with the guys at Best Buy. Tobey was standing in the buggy when I walked up. I asked him if he missed me. And then he did the most sweetest, loving, amazing thing. He looked straight up at me and just stared for a few seconds. Then he reached up and caressed my cheek with his soft little boy hands and laid his head on my shoulder. I must say I have never felt so loved. I started crying right in the middle of the computer aisle in Best Buy. It was the most tender moment. A moment I will always cherish. It made me think of other tender moments in my life....

As a little girl I remember curling up next to my mom on the couch as she napped. I didn't always sleep, I just wanted to be close to her. My parents divorced before I can even remember. We lived with my grandparents in Oklahoma while my mom worked to get us a place of our own. I spent those days following my PawPaw around in his vegetable garden. That is really the only memory I have from that time but it sticks out in my mind. Sunny days next to my tall, strong PawPaw. Later, in my middle school days, it was my Grandma I found comfort in. We could spend hours playing Canasta, Crazy Eight, and Gin Rummy. And she was ruthless. She played to win. I had so many questions at that time in my life and she so much wisdom. We were a perfect match. My mom loves to sing and we sang in the car where ever we went. I remember the first time we sang Silent Night and I contemplated the "holy infant". She didn't go to church with me because she worked on Sundays but she encouraged me to go. And I did. In sixth grade I was in church with my best friend Kimby and I felt this urging to get up out of my seat. I vaguely understood that the pastor was giving an invitation. This urging was so strong and now I know it was the Holy Spirit. So Jesus became my Lord and I was baptized. I remember laying in my bed that night and I was so happy I could burst. At the end of my eighth grade year, I moved to Texas to live with my Dad. It was the hardest decision of my life. Even harder on my mom. But again I felt this urging to be with my Dad and to get to know my stepmom and my little sisters better. My Dad was so excited. He cleaned out his office and moved it to the garage so I could have my own room. He was the most tender man I have ever known and he gave the best hugs. One time I smarted off to my stepmom and he kind of bonked me on the nose with the palm of his hand. It stung a little but didn't really hurt. Oh but my feelings were hurt. I had upset my Dad. I got up and went to my room and lay on my bed and cried. He came in about 30 minutes later and hugged me and told me he was sorry with tears in his eyes. Then there was the time my sister was teasing me about an old nerdy school picture and he looked up and told me I was beautiful. My two most favorite memories of my Dad involve hunting. He loved to hunt and shortly after I came to live with him we went hunting, just the two of us. We watched a beautiful sunrise over the pond outside his deer blind and saw a few deer but he never tried to shoot anything. It was just a trip for us to hang out and to spend time together. My sister who was seven at the time had already shot her first buck. My Dad really wanted this for me too and I really wanted to please my Dad. Well, my first opportunity I shot a hole through the roof of his deer blind. Guess I was a little nervous. After several weekends of hunting he started feeling sorry for me and my bad luck. My second opportunity came across the field from our house on our deer lease. He called me outside and had me sit on his knee and I aimed the gun. Well I wasn't aiming at a buck. I was aiming at a doe and she had two fawns beside her. As I sat there with that gun on my shoulder I began to shake and I could not pull that trigger. I put the gun down and started wailing. My Dad just hugged me and didn't say much. I felt horrible and I felt that I had failed my Dad. After we got home that night, he called me into his office(the garage). He pulled me into his lap and told me how proud he was of me and apologised for putting me in that situation. He said a good hunter would never shoot a doe while her babies were at her side. That was my Dad. A hunter with a tender spot for his girls. I never did shoot a deer by the way. It just wasn't for me and my Dad understood that. I enjoyed 5 years with my Dad before he died suddenly. How thankful I am for the tender moments we shared. Moments where I felt so loved and secure. How thankful I am for that urging I had to move to Texas. I would never have met my husband otherwise who has given me a lifetime of tender moments and I would not have my precious Tobey who gave me such a tender moment tonight. A moment that reminded me of other tender moments and of my Dad.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

10 Things I Hate, I Mean Love About Summer

The summer is upon us and I am less than thrilled. It has been extremely hot the last few days and it is only the beginning. I am a mild weathered girl and I love the fall and springtime. I am dreading the high temperatures we will reach as the days of summer progress. The heat also brings mosquitoes and if I step out for a second in the evening I return with several bites. What can I say, they love me and I hate them. So to sike myself up for the heat wave I am listing my 10 favorite things about summer.

1. SWEET ICED TEA W/MINT! Always tastes better in the summer and the mint adds a cool freshness.

2. My sweet sister always comes for a long visit in the summer and we spend our days swimming, watching movies, playing cards. It is the best! She lives in Birmingham so I only see her two or three times a year. I am trying to convince her to go to college here in Texas.

3. 4th of July! Absolutely one of my favorite holidays. I am excited to see Tobey's reaction this year. I can already hear him-"Whoa!". Whoa is his new favorite word.

4. Ice Cream!

5. Flip Flops. I live in Texas so I can pretty much wear them all year but flip flops are all I wear in the summertime and there are really cute styles that come out and they are so cheap.

6. Summer Reading. Reading is one of my favorite past times and I seem to do more of it in the summer. Probably because it is too stifling to go outside.

7. Ice cold watermelon! Again one of those things that just tastes better in the summertime.

8. Family Vacation. We are not going anywhere extravagant this summer but we are going to Corpus Christi. It will be Tobey's first time at the beach.

9. Swimming. I love to swim. I love being in, on, or near the water. But I need a new swimsuit this year and I am not looking forward to this shopping excursion. I am sure it will take all day and a good chunk of change to find one that fits me appropriately. I have been what some would say blessed with top-heaviness although I feel cursed.

10. Bright, sunny days that are contagious with joy (okay I am running out of things to love)

There they are. I am actually feeling better about summer although still dreading the whole swimsuit thing. God help me!

Too early for empty nest

Okay, someday I am going to have some serious empty-nest syndrome going on. The morning went well. Tobey woke up in a good mood, had breakfast, got dressed and we were out the door. No time for our cuddle-cuddle in the rocking chair why we watched some toons and he sipped on his soymilk. No we were rush-rush this morning as I encouraged him to eat his breakfast while I got his sack lunch together. We made it to KDO only about 10 minutes late. He was apprehensive as we walked toward the nursery area and cried out when we entered his room. I kneeled on the floor with him and he promptly sat on my purse as if to say "Momma your not going anywhere, you can stay right here". And I did. How could I leave my precious child. I chatted with his teacher and we talked about the routine for the day. Tobey eventually stood up and worked his way toward the toys and I sneaked out unnoticed. As I made my way out of the building tears welled up in my eyes and I rushed to my car very annoyed at myself. Why am I crying? This is a good thing. My previous dreams of him learning so much from the other kids turned into visions of him learning how to hit, bite, pull hair, and throw a tantrum more effectively. What have I done to me my sweet and sheltered and loving little boy? That's when I realized the empty-nest thing was happening to me, only decades too early. So I am thankful for the baby steps we are taking right now because leaving me for good is going to tear me apart.

In the rush this morning I didn't even snap a picture of his first day. So these are just random pictures from yesterday's nap and dinnertime.


I walked in his room and the first thing I noticed-feet. I had to get a picture


I love this sleep pose. He looks like a big boy.


Serious bedhead


He threw his pacifier out of the bed and thought it was really funny.


My little blonde surfer boy can eat him some corn dog