Tender Moments

What a weird day this has been. I worked last night, got home around 7:30am, showered and left to host a bridal shower for an old friend of mine. I did not get home from that until 12:15pm. I hung out with my boys for an hour or so and then I crashed. I had been awake for over 24 hours and my body said no more-must sleep. I got up around 6:30pm and felt absolutely horrible but Rodney was itching to get out of the house so we went to IHOP. Tobey and I shared chocolate chip pancakes. Yummy! Afterwards, I figured we would just go home but Rod turned the opposite direction from our house. When I asked him where he was going, he just smiled. I knew we were either going to Home Depot or Best Buy. We ended up at Best Buy. So while the boys shopped electronics, I strolled over to Dillards for the dreaded swimsuit search. It only took an hour and eight try-ons before I found the perfect one. I am very very happy about my new swimsuit. It is bright and colorful, full coverage, no cleavage, and even a little flattering. I also found the perfect chocolate brown cover-up. I am so relieved to have that out of the way. I met back up with the guys at Best Buy. Tobey was standing in the buggy when I walked up. I asked him if he missed me. And then he did the most sweetest, loving, amazing thing. He looked straight up at me and just stared for a few seconds. Then he reached up and caressed my cheek with his soft little boy hands and laid his head on my shoulder. I must say I have never felt so loved. I started crying right in the middle of the computer aisle in Best Buy. It was the most tender moment. A moment I will always cherish. It made me think of other tender moments in my life....

As a little girl I remember curling up next to my mom on the couch as she napped. I didn't always sleep, I just wanted to be close to her. My parents divorced before I can even remember. We lived with my grandparents in Oklahoma while my mom worked to get us a place of our own. I spent those days following my PawPaw around in his vegetable garden. That is really the only memory I have from that time but it sticks out in my mind. Sunny days next to my tall, strong PawPaw. Later, in my middle school days, it was my Grandma I found comfort in. We could spend hours playing Canasta, Crazy Eight, and Gin Rummy. And she was ruthless. She played to win. I had so many questions at that time in my life and she so much wisdom. We were a perfect match. My mom loves to sing and we sang in the car where ever we went. I remember the first time we sang Silent Night and I contemplated the "holy infant". She didn't go to church with me because she worked on Sundays but she encouraged me to go. And I did. In sixth grade I was in church with my best friend Kimby and I felt this urging to get up out of my seat. I vaguely understood that the pastor was giving an invitation. This urging was so strong and now I know it was the Holy Spirit. So Jesus became my Lord and I was baptized. I remember laying in my bed that night and I was so happy I could burst. At the end of my eighth grade year, I moved to Texas to live with my Dad. It was the hardest decision of my life. Even harder on my mom. But again I felt this urging to be with my Dad and to get to know my stepmom and my little sisters better. My Dad was so excited. He cleaned out his office and moved it to the garage so I could have my own room. He was the most tender man I have ever known and he gave the best hugs. One time I smarted off to my stepmom and he kind of bonked me on the nose with the palm of his hand. It stung a little but didn't really hurt. Oh but my feelings were hurt. I had upset my Dad. I got up and went to my room and lay on my bed and cried. He came in about 30 minutes later and hugged me and told me he was sorry with tears in his eyes. Then there was the time my sister was teasing me about an old nerdy school picture and he looked up and told me I was beautiful. My two most favorite memories of my Dad involve hunting. He loved to hunt and shortly after I came to live with him we went hunting, just the two of us. We watched a beautiful sunrise over the pond outside his deer blind and saw a few deer but he never tried to shoot anything. It was just a trip for us to hang out and to spend time together. My sister who was seven at the time had already shot her first buck. My Dad really wanted this for me too and I really wanted to please my Dad. Well, my first opportunity I shot a hole through the roof of his deer blind. Guess I was a little nervous. After several weekends of hunting he started feeling sorry for me and my bad luck. My second opportunity came across the field from our house on our deer lease. He called me outside and had me sit on his knee and I aimed the gun. Well I wasn't aiming at a buck. I was aiming at a doe and she had two fawns beside her. As I sat there with that gun on my shoulder I began to shake and I could not pull that trigger. I put the gun down and started wailing. My Dad just hugged me and didn't say much. I felt horrible and I felt that I had failed my Dad. After we got home that night, he called me into his office(the garage). He pulled me into his lap and told me how proud he was of me and apologised for putting me in that situation. He said a good hunter would never shoot a doe while her babies were at her side. That was my Dad. A hunter with a tender spot for his girls. I never did shoot a deer by the way. It just wasn't for me and my Dad understood that. I enjoyed 5 years with my Dad before he died suddenly. How thankful I am for the tender moments we shared. Moments where I felt so loved and secure. How thankful I am for that urging I had to move to Texas. I would never have met my husband otherwise who has given me a lifetime of tender moments and I would not have my precious Tobey who gave me such a tender moment tonight. A moment that reminded me of other tender moments and of my Dad.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."